no thank you

When I returned to the USA from Indonesia in 2014, I noticed there was a wildly popular new way to reply “no” when offered something.

“I’m good.”

It felt chill. Maybe too chill. Like, “I feel awkward actually saying, ‘No.’” Too blunt? Too uncool? Too adult?

My mother was confused when my nephew’s friend was camping with the family and repeatedly responded in this way to her offers of food. She finally spoke up, “Please say ‘No thank you’ if you don’t want something. I don’t know what you mean by “I’m good.’” This phrase irked her. Now, the middle schooler was confused.

In contrast, “Hard pass!” was funny the first time. But after that, it started to feel like Michael Scott adopting an overused tagline.

Today, in education speak, I hear young teachers responding to unwanted behavior with, “NO! THANK you!” When I first heard this, I thought, “Hmmm! This child is not offering anything I’m refusing.” But then again . . . maybe s/he is.

However, because of the zeitgeist of it all, I’m finding the magical power of a well timed, “Nooo (rising intonation). THANK you!” I picture a slingshot with the “No” as the elastic pull back and the “thank you” as the force of the release. The juxtaposition of the polite language with the command embedded within it is startling.

I teach elementary, middle school and adult learners. “No thank you” is used most with under 9 year olds. In contrast, I rarely have occasion to not accept what the adult literacy learners are offering. In fact, I am downright goofy while attempting to act out the quirkiness of the English language.

For example, recently, I tried to communicate the difference between “light” as the one that shines and “light” as the opposite of “heavy.” I first pantomimed turning on light bulbs and then performed carrying heavy things only to switch to suddenly holding something that weighed almost nothing.

I can only imagine the middle school students giggling derisively if they suddenly stumbled into this night class. While at the same time, these young teens have taken to shouting out, “Hello Ms. Frens!!! (exclamation points in place of all CAPS to indicate the volume) and “I like your ___________” (the blank is filled with random articles of clothing and sometimes inexplicably “knuckles” or whathaveyou). It’s unnerving.

I just googled this as a possible trend and discovered an AI explanation (Is it slop or a hallucination? 🤷🏻‍♀️)

This trend, often found on TikTok under hashtags like #TeacherCompliments or #GenZStyle, features students loudly or dramatically delivering humorous, intense, or over-the-top compliments to their teachers. The joke lies in the juxtaposition of aggressive "yelling" with positive, often Gen-Z slang-heavy praise.

My response: I feel uncomfortable. I’m good.